Let Your Pain Be Your Inspiration...

Only God Knows Why...

Let me give you just a little back story on how I arrived to this AMAZING point in my journey...

Christmas of 2016 was by far the loneliest of my entire life. I felt hopeless and depressed. My best friend and Mother-in-law had past away earlier that year. My family dynamics had changed drastically. My husband was depressed and sad himself from the loss of his Mother. Overall, we ALL were in a bad place emotionally. It is when you are alone in these valleys that the God of the Universe will come and meet you there.   What I thought was the Worst time of my life was God actually preparing me for what was to come a couple of months later.

I made a decision during this Christmas season to actively start the search for my Dad once again. You see, we have searched for him many times with no avail. For at least 22 years we would search from time to time with no results. Through the course of a couple of major events that happened during this week, I was determined.

The first was when I was very lonely. I wanted Elijah to watch a movie with me but he had just discovered his love of painting, and was working on his art. So I watched the movie alone. I picked the documentary from my favorite band Journey. This documentary was introducing their new lead singer, a guy from the Philippines they found on Youtube. When I saw his face, something inside of me just knew that is what my Dad must have looked like when he was younger. I did not want this movie to come to an end.

I have watched it many times since. The second event was one of my best friends Dads untimely, sudden death that same week. I knew in my heart that my Dad was out there somewhere. I would start my search a different way this time. A DNA test. I thought if I could find one Asian match I would be able to start there. Unfortunately this would not help my cause one bit. God had a different plan...He always does! He knew we would find him in His timing not ours. Future things are secret things. They are not for us to know. What I do know is,I adore my Thai family and ALL the heartache and loneliness that I endured was worth it!!

So be patient in the valley. The mountain top is just ahead!