Every Rose Has Its Thorn

“Every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn”. These lyrics are true in every facet of life. We learn to take the good with the bad. In my life, I feel the good out weighs the bad. Certainly, things don’t always go my way, but I love that feeling of peace, accomplishment, satisfaction, anticipation, whatever it may be, when it does.

Today, September 18, 2020, I was scheduled to leave the country to visit my Dad and family in Thailand. This would have been my 7th trip. The reasons why are quite obvious with the current state of the world for all of us. There was nothing I could do to manipulate things my way.

I returned from Thailand six months ago, days before the world shut down for the pandemic. I felt like Indiana Jones with a gauntlet behind me at every turn. The world was changing by the second. Never in history was the whole world more connected and watching closely to who was doing what next. Viewing this unfolding from another country was terrifying. I watched the worldwide panic in a dreamlike state, but so thankful and grateful to be with my Dad, making memories and having real, authentic, vulnerable moments together that are priceless and precious to me in every way. A loving daddy can make a girl‘s self worth have no limits, even at 52 years old.

It is hard to keep out of my own head knowing I would be in the air right now making the 27 hour trip thats ends with me in my Daddy’s arms. Instead sitting here in my little office, writing this blog, I pray God gives me the words to make my dreams of writing my memoir a reality.

Three years ago, September 29, I made a voice recording, telling myself to surrender to the call of writing my story. I had fought it for months, but it was a relentless feeling in my spirit. We tell ouselves every excuse under the sun that we can’t do what He is asking. Well, if it is truly a calling, He is not asking. If He gives you the desire, He will find a way to prepare you for the task.

I feel an urgency more than ever to commit to this journey, making writing a priority, to set goals in order to turn this from dream to reality. Wishing your goals to fruition will never happen. But putting thoughts to page, bringing those tough feelings and memories out of the mind and on to the screen is intimidating. It’s an indescribable level of emotions to come to terms with to find the truth about who I am and what happened to my identity.

But I know this. I am exactly where I’m supposed to be, where God wants me to be. I’m unable to see my Thai family. I’m living in a Covid19 world-with the election just around the corner.

Here I am living my miracle story, an aching in my soul and feeling uncertainty all around. I need all the encouragement and prayers I can get.

Please share my story as I amp up my writing career. My story of lies and lost identity continue to unfold and develop, and I’m learning more new details and finding clarity every day, so stay tuned. I will process this the rest of my life. I have to write to stay sane, quite honestly.

I will return to Thailand, where my life began, as soon as possible.

Every rose has it’s thorn Just like every day has it’s dawn.

Till then.